Funny SMS's

• If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

• Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:
3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.
2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.
1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.

• No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur business.

• Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

• Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

• A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

• In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

• Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!

• A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
The Student replies: Father-in-Law

• A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water.
Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I've killed the motorist.

• M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_, dekha... Everything is incomplete without ‘U'

• As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.

• A good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes.
A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai... aaram se theek hona!

• Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.

• Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

• Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

• What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

• Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.

• Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

• Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

• Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude... kick them... How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.

• Aisa hai pyar humara, main kishti tu kinara, mai dhanush tu teer mai matar tu paneer, mai barish tu badal, mai rajmah tu chawal, mai hot tu cool, main April tu Fool...ha ha ha!!

• Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut - Just think about ME!

• Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'

• Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!

• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

• Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.

• Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han"
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?

• Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

• Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

• Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?
Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.
Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU

• Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai...
Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.

• Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
Red: Wild
Black: Sexy
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it...

• Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!

• Ek c Raja...
Ek c Rani...
Dono mar gaye khatam kahani.
.
.
.
.
.
Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?

• Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again

• Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?

• Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!

• A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: 'Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!'

• A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

• What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice Belt

• Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?

• Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...

• A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise?
She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the...

• Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.

• Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

• Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don't u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don't parpoz d ROZ ROZ!

• If U Don't Eat Junk food, Don't Smoke, Don't Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com

• Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.

• I'm leaving India!
Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.

• Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

• It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

• Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

• Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.

• Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

• Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

• Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

• An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

• Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

• Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

• Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana

• Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.

• Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

• Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

• Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy

• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.

• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai

• What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

• A friend is: Who lends you...
Pen in School...

• It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

• A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."

• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!

• Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut • I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you

• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

• When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I'm with u, U have money & Bar is open

• In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

• Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC

• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!

• Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND

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